Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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