i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
