How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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