Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
