There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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