Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
be right there i have to get my cape
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
