She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
