Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
