Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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