they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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