We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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