You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize