hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
