Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
