Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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