Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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