it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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