walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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