Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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