i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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