He is an equal opportunity slut.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
