erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
