She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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