Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
