Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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