Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
