My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
