help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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