4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kiss
Puke
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
