Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
