Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
