Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Say something about gay babies.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
