Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
