It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
