Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
