Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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