Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
