it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
