a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
