Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize