I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
