I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
