so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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