the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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