How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
