ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
