Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
