And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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