you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
