yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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