I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
