So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
