i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Four minutes until I can fart!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
