love makes seman taste better
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
