I got chris browned last night
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
