1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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