I bet he comes in French.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
