I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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