Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
