I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
