I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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